Imagine me yelling this to the heavens with my arms outstretched in frustration and anger.  Anthropologie is my arch-nemesis–my Magneto,  my Lex Luthor.*  Why?

1)  Their CEO is a classic example of Baby Boomer who sold out and has become a right-winger and exploited the underground culture of Gen Xers (and now Gen Yers) for his financial gain.  (This is truer for Urban Outfitters than for Anthropologie, but Anthropologie does a pretty damn good job of capturing the vintage/post-shabby chic/cutesy market among upper-middle class thirty-somethings).

2)  Their shit is horrifyingly twee.  I mean:


I can’t lie and say that I don’t like this outfit, but this photo? Fucking seriously?

3) Their copy is also beyond ridiculous: “Hibernating, chocolate-piped merino wool is awakened by a cacophony of appliqued primroses.” I can’t help but think that the poor bastard who writes for them once wanted to be the next Great American Author and is now kept awake at night wondering if she used the word “coax” too often in the descriptions of this season’s flower-encrusted sweaters.

4) As I mentioned before, it has a certain edgy Martha Stewart/Amelie-esque asthetic, which I guess can be appealing, but can be accomplished by using actual vintage and hand-made items, like, say, from Etsy.  It’s for people who don’t have enough imagination to buy a stencil and some gold paint for a side table, but have enough money to buy a nightstand for $700, even if it’s partially made of mdf.  I guess you could say that it’s missed the “shabby” part of “shabby chic.”  It’s also for people who think “vintage” is a style, and means “skirts with butterfly appliques” and “shirts with ruffles and Peter Pan collars” and have no idea how to put fashion into cultural and historical context.

5) I love about 85% of their apparel and accessories despite all of this.  (Their housewares can bite me, though–I don’t do whimsical and girly decor).  I especially love their dresses and shoes.  My current crushes:


I also can’t get over these boots (I’m actually looking for a pair of riding boots right now, but these are more than I want to spend):


6) So, you see, I have a problem.  I fucking hate being morally conflicted over clothes. Luckily, their stuff usually too expensive for me unless it’s deeply discounted, and then the larger sizes are bought up most of the time.  But I still feel slightly dirty when I visit their site.  And look at their catalog.  Twice a week.  Assholes.

*People who have a little bit of comic book knowledge will understand where I’m coming from with this analogy–just know they’re love/hate relationships not worth taking the time to explain because it’s a silly comparison to begin with.



Filed under clothes

7 responses to “Anthropollllloooogieeeeee!!!!!!!!

  1. LipstickLibrarian

    I can’t look at those dresses, they’re too freaking cute!

    Want, want, WANT.

  2. You should be writing for a living.

    p.s. Fucking LOVE that middle dress!

  3. truculentandunreliable

    Thanks, Trix!

    LL–I know, right? This is why Anthropologie is dangerous.

  4. You just summed up all my conflicted feelings about Anthropo. I don’t shop there *that* often, but I love everything I have from there.

    And you may hate the housewares, but my apartment is Anthropo’d out. Which works because my style is very masculin/feminin so the twee is canceled out (I hope).

  5. truculentandunreliable

    bangmaster–I think you can decorate with stuff that’s Anthropologie without being over-the-top, it’s just that my style tends to be more simple and clean–I’m not a big fan of florals or stuff that’s girly or ornate, so a lot of their stuff doesn’t appeal to me. That said, I did like the stuff that Nigella Lawson did for them a few years ago, and I am currently liking this desk a great deal:, though I don’t know why the fuck the link is so damn long.

  6. notaclevername

    I LOVE THAT DESK! It very much looks like something you’d like.

  7. I like a lot of stuff at Anthropologie too, but every time I go in the store or look in the catalog, I get my feelings hurt. I just cannot spend that much money! It’s insane.

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